A few weeks back I finished reading The Omnivore's Dilemma, a fantastic book that explores the dilemma facing all humans each and every day: what to have for dinner?

Polan focuses his book on the American food culture, detailing the various food chains we depend on to fill our dinner plates or takeout bags (a fifth of all meals are consumed in the car). Polan's investigation led him down the industrial, pastoral and personal food chains, where he reveals the historical, political and economic forces that have shaped each. Best of all, he culminates his investigative reporting with a dinner produced by each chain, which he consumes with family and friends.

Reading The Omnivore's Dilemma coincided with me posting a number of entries on What I Drank With Dinner (WIDWD). I have to give credit to Polan for inspiring me to start writing on this topic, for it was his book's focus on the dinner meal that got me thinking about its importance not only in my family, but with American society at large. In fact, it was on page 302 of the book when I suddenly realized how much the sanctity of the family dinner has diminished in our country:

"A vice president of marketing at General Mills once painted for me a picture of the state of the American family dinner, courtesy of video cameras that the company's consulting anthropologists paid families to let them install in the ceiling above the kitchen and dining room tables.

Mom, perhaps feeling sentimetal about the dinners of her childhood, still prepares a dish and a salad that she usually winds up eating by herself. Meanwhile, the kids, and Dad too, if he's around, each fix something different for themselves, because Dad's on a low-carb diet, the teenager's become a vegetarian, and the eight-year-old is on a strict ration of pizza that the shrink says it's best to indulge (lest she develop eating disorders later on in life).

So over the course of a half hour or so each family member roams into the kitchen, removes a single-portion entree from the freezer, and zaps it in the microwave (many of these entrees have been helpfully designed to be safely "cooked" by an eight-year-old.) After the sound of the beep each diner brings his microwaveable dish to the dining room table, where he or she may or may not cross paths with another family member at the table for a few minutes.

Families who eat this way are among the 47 percent of Americans who report to pollsters that they still sit down to a family meal every night." (Pollan, Michael. "The Omnivore's Dilemma - A Natural History of Four Meals", 2006, pg. 302)

It was hard to read this and not feel dismayed at how many families in America are missing out on the benefits that come from sitting down each night together, eating the same meal, and celebrating the communal nature of this event. It's sad to learn that the above scenario is commonplace amongst those claiming to eating a family meal together and even sadder knowing that 53% of families dine separately.

What has happened to the sanctity of the family dinner?

I thank my parents, especially my mother, for instilling in me at an early age the importance of family dinners. It amazes me to think of my mom preparing a dinner every night for us seven kids and my dad, let alone accomplish the shopping involved. And lest we forget about breakfast and school lunches. But dinner was the most important meal in our family, with all of us at the table together, eating the same food. My wife, Kari, also came from a family that treated the dinner gathering as sacred, which is one of the major reasons why I married her.

From the time we were dating to present day with our two daughters, dinner time has remained the most important daily event in our household. Even when our girls were infants, we had them at the table, smelling the wonderful meals Kari prepared and watching us eat, talk and celebrate dinner together. It was a rare occasion when I wasn't able to make it home from work for dinner, as this was a daily priority for me. In fact, it was the true measure of work/life balance for me, for I couldn't embrace the notion of making up for my absence during the work week by spending "quality time" with my family on the weekends.

In the years ahead, Kari and I will most likely struggle in maintaining this daily ritual as our daughters grow older and feel the pull of various activities outside of the home. But hopefully by instilling in them the importance of the family dinner at an early age and continuing to support it in the choices we make, they too will value it just as much as we do. In fact, I happen to agree with Polan that it is more important to focus on how we eat, rather than what we eat, as this will have the most lasting impact on our lives. It seems our food culture has become far too fixated on parsing food into what's bad versus what's good for you based on the latest trends, while overlooking how we eat:

"That orthodoxy regards certain tasty foods as poisons (carbs now, fats then), failing to appreciate that how we eat, and even how we feel about eating, may in the end be just as important as what we eat. The French eat all sorts of supposedly unhealthy foods, but they do it according to a strict and stable set of rules: they don't snack; they seldom eat alone; and communal meals are long, leisurely affairs. In other words, the French culture of food successfully negotiates the omnivore's dilemma, allowing the French to enjoy their meals without ruining their health." (Pollan, Michael. "The Omnivore's Dilemma - A Natural History of Four Meals", 2006, pg. 300 - 301)

Finally, I share all of this with you not to put myself on a pedestal and preach, but rather to hopefully inspire more folks to start thinking about dinner in a different way, beyond just conveniently feeding ourselves. I truly believe the family dinner addresses more than just our gastronomic needs. It brings those who are most important in our lives together on a regular basis to not only share in the communal aspect of filling our stomachs, but more importantly to feed our hearts and minds. And there's nothing better to making this meal a celebration with family and friends than including a glass of wine.